Since becoming a mom, I have found that the lessons God has for me to learn are so available as I work toward developing myself in this role. I'm not sure if these lessons could've been just as easily spotted if I were still only a wife working outside of the home or if it's something exclusive to the experience of actually caring for a little human that Amgad and I created. Either way, I want to take some time to share those lessons and how God has been growing me through them.
Lesson 1: This, too, shall pass.
More than anything else during my time as a mom these past five months, I have been forced to learn and repeatedly lean on the reality that the present challenge I'm facing is temporary, no matter how perpetual it may feel in the moment. This applies to something as trivial as having to wake up three mornings in a row at 4:30 am because Joey won't stop crying for an unidentified reason. Or it could be something as seemingly significant as getting in an argument three evenings in a row with Amgad because our relationship is strained in its new post-baby state.
In either case, the truth is that time is always passing, no matter how difficult the challenge may be at the moment I'm facing it. Although the end seems nowhere in sight, there is an end and it is coming. And in the meantime, God often reveals to me that my contentment has no bearing on what the specific situation I'm experiencing but rather on the attitude I'm seeking to have through it.
Lesson 2: Exceptions are never the rule.
I have also learned that the occasional hiccups in my plans or unexpected surprises in my day are just that: occasional. In the beginning, I would get completely thrown off when something unexpected happened. If, for instance, Joey would wake up a whole hour early from his nap, I would stop dead in my tracks and panic about what in the world I was going to do now that his schedule was entirely ruined for the day. Or even worse, I'd dread the thought that he might be teething, sick, or going through a growth spurt that would cause him to want to eat nonstop and sabotage all my day's (or week's) plans.
As I've come to learn through many of these hiccups, though, they rarely ever actually result in anything dramatic or plan-altering. In the moments of panic where I reeled through all of the "what ifs" that could potentially happen, I always came up with some decision I thought was best and just went with it. In the end, that's all I could ever do anyway; the rest was up to Joey. I've gotten used to rolling with the punches as they come, and acknowledging that punches do actually come was half the battle in handling them with grace. When they're as occasional as they are, they almost become a welcomed surprise to my everyday routine.
Lesson 3: Rules are never the exception.
I have discovered through my experience so far that Joey is not too young for rules and regularity. Consequently, it is imperative that the rules and routines I choose to set for him are well thought-out and consistently executed in order for them to be effective. Even though he's too young yet for traditional discipline, I have noticed already how much he benefits from and becomes easily accustomed to routine things like naps, scheduled feedings, and mealtime in his high chair.
At times it might be easier in the moment to assume he's too young to begin implementing a new habit that, although it will benefit both of us in the long run, is proving to be a real headache in the beginning stages. But just like any habit we work to form as adults, it takes more than just one try; it also requires continued resolve, repetition, and conviction -- many times from me more than Joey!
Lesson 4: Plans change. A lot.
I can probably provide a daily anecdote to prove this lesson, for better or for worse. Like the time I thought Joey would sleep through my dentist appointment in his carseat, only to have him wail through it instead. Or the time I planned to go to the bank and ended up heading straight home instead because Joey had pooped everywhere (including on me).
These sudden changes in my agenda have stretched me far beyond my comfort zone and have taught me a lot about the need to live life with palms open. As Joey wailed in his carseat at the dentist's office, I was able to see God calm my worry in an unexpected way when two or three dental hygienists kindly asked if they could hold him and play with him during my checkup. And as I climbed into the tub with Joey to give him (and me) a much-needed bath after his diaper explosion, I found that the time I spent playing with him in the water was much more meaningful than yet one more errand I could always do tomorrow instead.
Through so many little experiences just like these, God has taught me that the value of my time is not so much found in what I do but rather in how I do it and what my focus is.
Lesson 5: The grass is pretty green on your side, too.
Before I was a mom, I had a pretty severe case of discontentment in my life. For as long as I can remember, I have been in bondage to the longing for what's coming next, whether it was high school, college, marriage, a career, or a baby. Unfortunately, this condition never allowed me to adequately treasure the moments I was living in the here and now. Looking back, I can now see a lot of experiences I went through that weren't fully experienced because of my focus only on the future.
Since Joey arrived, however, this has changed. I hesitate to give credit only to the circumstance, though, as this would only validate my belief that "moving onto the next thing" would somehow finally satisfy me. No, becoming a mom has not alone produced the contented feeling I now experience on a daily basis, but it does help to bring the journey of my life into perspective.
Instead of always feeling like time is passing too slowly, I find that time is passing in perfect rhythm as I witness Joey grow and learn and change. Now that I have a life I'm responsible for besides just my own, I have begun to take my eyes off of my own pursuits and dreams and wishes and instead involve myself in those of my family. God has given me peace about my purpose for this season of my life and I finally feel completely free to immerse myself in His calling for my life -- right here and right now. Why would I go in search for something I don't yet have when God has perfectly purposed everything I have in my care for today?
